Signs You've Been Racing Too Much

Well, September is finally here. And if you’ve been racing all summer long, it may be time for you to take some time off and learn to be a normal human being again.


Photo by David Baxter

If any of the following sound like they fit you, take it as a sign to just chill for a few months; catch up on some Netflix, mow your lawn, and enjoy being a land lubber for a little while. Here are the signs to look out for:

  • You show up to your kid’s parent-teacher conference with a six pack, hoping to make a good impression.
  • You start looking forward to the winter when you can lose all your summer weight.
  • When you’re on the highway and a car is attempting to merge, you start shouting, “no room in there! No room! Don’t go in there!”
  • You go out for dinner with your sailing buddies and are upset when no one is wearing the same T-shirt as you are.
  • When making new friends, you often ask them, “So what’s your weight these days?” before asking them to do anything with you.
  • Dermatologists introduce themselves to you in the supermarket.
  • You cut Pringles out of your diet and lose three pounds immediately.
  • You think the TSA guys are making way too big of a deal over this rigging knife.
  • People accuse you of having a face lift every single time you wear your hair down.