Well, September is finally here. And if you’ve been racing all summer long, it may be time for you to take some time off and learn to be a normal human being again.
If any of the following sound like they fit you, take it as a sign to just chill for a few months; catch up on some Netflix, mow your lawn, and enjoy being a land lubber for a little while. Here are the signs to look out for:
- You show up to your kid’s parent-teacher conference with a six pack, hoping to make a good impression.
- You start looking forward to the winter when you can lose all your summer weight.
- When you’re on the highway and a car is attempting to merge, you start shouting, “no room in there! No room! Don’t go in there!”
- You go out for dinner with your sailing buddies and are upset when no one is wearing the same T-shirt as you are.
- When making new friends, you often ask them, “So what’s your weight these days?” before asking them to do anything with you.
- Dermatologists introduce themselves to you in the supermarket.
- You cut Pringles out of your diet and lose three pounds immediately.
- You think the TSA guys are making way too big of a deal over this rigging knife.
- People accuse you of having a face lift every single time you wear your hair down.