Advice for Sailing as a Couple Part 1

Sailing Sweetly With Your Valentine

In honor of Valentines Day, February 14, 2020, we asked several successful sailing couples to share their stories and advice to couples just starting their sailing journey together. Here are their responses:

Bill and Jill Boggs

Can you give us a quick sailing bio?

About 18 years ago I heard an ad on the radio for something called the Annapolis Sailboat Show and thought it sounded like a nice way to kill a fall afternoon, so my wife and I went. By the next summer, with zero sailing experience, we had purchased a 1988 Oday 322.

Only after buying did we take our first ASA 101 sailing class. Later we did 2 days with an instructor on our boat. We found our first boat in Deltaville, VA and fell in love with the Rappahannock/Piankatank area and continued to sail our Oday from Deltaville for three years. We also crewed on the race boat when not on ours.

We now have a 1991 Catalina 36. Having sailed from Deltaville and Herring Bay/West River we are now pretty familiar with sailing the Bay from Baltimore south to Mobjack Bay and enjoy weekend and longer cruises.

One romantic story of you on a boat together? 

Nearly every night spent on the hook is romantic. I mean you are on the water with a zillion stars and the moon surrounded by nature. Add a nice dinner and bottle of wine and it doesn't get much better.

One not at all romantic story of you on a boat together?

Sometimes, those hot summer nights on the hook that start off fairly romantic turn less so when rains force you to close the hatches turning the boat into a sealed sweatbox. Nothing romantic about languishing in a puddle of sweat hoping for the rain to pass. 

What do you do best as boat partners?

I think we've reached a point where we are content to accept each others’ preferences. My wife will indulge my desire to tweak sails like a racer when we are just cruising, and I will happily resort to the iron genny to make sure we get to our destinations in time for her to enjoy them. The mutual goal is to enjoy time on the water.

What would your advice be to a couple just embarking on their sailing journey together?

Our experience tells us there is a direct correlation between how much you enjoy your boat and how much difficulty you encounter entering and exiting you slip. When you first get your boat, get an instructor to do docking practice with you until you understand how your boat behaves and you feel moderately comfortable handling the boat close to fixed objects like docks. Learn to use prop walk and how to turn around in a boat length in a narrow fairway. Choose your slips based on ease of entry and exit. The perfect marina amenities won't mean much if you a terrified every time you leave or return to the dock. 

Josh and Marissa

 

Sailing bio of you as a couple?

Josh grew up sailing dinghies on the Eastern Shore; Marissa grew up on horses in PA and had never been on a boat until the first time we dunked our boat and immediately took a 10-day sail around the Chesapeake. Five years later, we’re full-time sailors, living aboard a 1981 S2 9.2C in Annapolis with our Golden Retriever, Jack, and working towards sailing the world. 

One romantic story of you on a boat together?

Dinners on the deck are always romantic, no matter if it’s steak or burgers, especially if we leave the dog in the cabin. Night sails also bring you incredibly close when you’re the only ones out on the water and the moon reflects off of it. 

One not at all romantic story of you on a boat together? 

On our first excursion, Marissa knew NOTHING about boating, let alone how to tie a boat off. When our throttle lever failed to go in reverse to pull up next to a gas pier and instead went full bore forward towards another dock, Marissa didn’t know to wrap a line around a cleat right away. There was a lot of yelling and learning that day. 

What do you do best as boat partners?

We know our stations and work towards a common goal: Marissa ties off the bow like an absolute professional and Josh keeps a cool head while backing into our slip. Marissa does the dishes and Josh empties the head. Josh does breakfast and Mars makes dinner. 

What would your advice be to a couple just embarking on their sailing journey together?

Remember that you’re learning the lines (pun intended) together. You will undoubtedly have very frustrating moments, and it’s easy to get mad at each other over things that are beyond your control. Figure out how to communicate, what each other’s roles are (especially in docking), and keep in mind that you’re in it together. 

Maris and Linda

Sailing bio of you as a couple?

We’ve been sailing for almost 16 years starting out in the Chesapeake on a Pearson 30 and have lived aboard our Island Packet 420 for the past six years. We cruised the US East Coast and Bahamas three years and then traveled across the Carib to the NW Carib where we spent over two years and are now in Bocas Del Toro, Panama.

One romantic story of you on a boat together?

The first year we were sailing with our Pearson 30 we did a southern Bay cruise the week after the Boat Show. We left Sunday and had a great sail down the Bay broad reaching until we got to the Potomac where the wind died for a bit and then changed direction.

After the full “harvest” moon came up the wind came back up out of the northeast and gave us a great beam reach all the way into Onancock Creek. It was an almost perfect exhilarating sail with the right amount of wind to just about reach hull speed, very little chop, the beautiful full moon was giving us great ambiance. It made for such a wonderful sail that neither of us slept until we dropped the hook in the lagoon near the town wharf in Onancock about 3 in the morning.

Monday was Columbus Day so there wasn’t much open, but we were able to get a slip at the Town Wharf for a few days. We love that little town. That sail clinched the deal on what we wanted to do in the future leading us to where we are today.

One not at all romantic story of you on a boat together?

When we bought our boat there seemed to be issues with the sanitation hoses, so we decided to replace them. We struggled to work the hoses through the areas of the bilge where they went and were calling to each other about the progress. Afterwards we wondered if someone was outside the boat on the dock what they must have wondered about what was going on as we were yelling comments like, “Push, push” I’m pulling” “I see it” “It’s coming” “Harder” “Maybe it’s too big.”

What do you do best as boat partners?

I think that our strength is that we complement each other and excel for each other in the areas we each do best.

What would your advice be to a couple just embarking on their sailing journey together?

I tell people that, if you don’t have a good relationship before you go, it won’t get better. But, if you have a good personal relationship, it can get very good. The trials that you encounter will test any relationship. When you realize that your very health, safety, and life absolutely depend on the other person, and you believe you can absolutely trust and depend on them in each instance, the relationship surpasses what most people will ever know.

Find part 2 of sailing advice for couples here.