A Sea Change for a Longtime Liveaboard and Cruising Family
Change is a constant for cruising sailors: the weather, the sea state, your location, what’s working and what’s not on the boat, the people you meet, and the food you eat. It’s part of the allure of the lifestyle. We celebrate the unknown beyond the horizon, feel the rush of handling challenges, and relish spinning those challenges into tall tales with other sailors. Sailors love to raise a glass and toast to the winds of change. When cruisers make the change to shift out of the lifestyle though, it’s often spoken about in hushed voices and sympathetic looks usually reserved for a medical diagnosis.
There’s a long list of little things and big things that led to our family deciding to move off of our sailboat after 26 years aboard as full-time liveaboards and switch gears to try out land life for the first time since my husband and I were in our 20s.
Not being in our 20s anymore ranks high on that long list. With all respect to retired cruisers everywhere, we have always known that we do not want to grow old on a boat. We enjoyed the thrill of living simply, off-grid, and by the whims of the wind when we were young. It was a challenge we welcomed when our children were brought home to the boat as newborns. And now? Well, now the physical part is noticeably taxing, the challenges are tiresome rather than invigorating, and frankly, the thrill is gone. And that’s okay.
It’s personal
Of course, there are more personal reasons, too. Our last hurricane season saw a big shift. Our oldest left the boat to strike out on his own adventures. We bought this boat 10 days before he was born. The boat felt empty without him.
I also injured myself in a dumb battle with a mooring ball in the BVI; the mooring ball won. The mooring ball always wins. It was months before I was able to get proper care, months of pain and limited mobility. It was a wake-up call on how cruising life impacts the aging body. And in the theme of aging, our parents now face building challenges as they age. We want to be close by to help them and spend quality time with them because if there is one thing that living on a boat teaches you, it’s that family and relationships are more important than anything.
The kids are growing up, and that changes our perspective, too. Our oldest was always happy under sail, underwater, and fishing. Our youngest longs for chickens, cucumber plants, and friends who don’t sail away. When she was tiny, she was just as happy to hang with whatever kid we met next. She’s reached the age where forming attachments and relationships matter. And that’s okay.
My husband has been dreaming of a garden for a while now. He’s a very patient person. I was the last hold out in the family. Between hurting myself and seeing our daughter so heartbroken when her friend group sailed in three different directions, I knew it was time.
This isn’t to say we no longer love to sail because, believe me, we still love nothing more than the pull of a solid vessel across a smooth sea. For the same reasons people give up land life in middle age for a life at sea, we are doing it backwards. We’re ready for something new.
A shift in the community
Stepping back from the personal, we also noticed a shift in the cruising community. This hotly debated topic is discussed at length in cockpits and rapid WhatsApp conversations. Pardon me for sounding like a geezer, but for us, it’s not like it used to be. Things change as they are supposed to in a healthy community, but we realized that this shift no longer suited us and our values. And that’s okay.
Here is the part that may get me some hate mail. The post-Covid YouTube cruising crowd is not the cruising community we know and love that lured us 26 years ago. People doing this for “likes and follows” are not the same as those who consciously chose to break away from mainstream society to live close to nature and in a community where relationships matter more than episodes or social media posts. We still managed to find our tribe, but it was more challenging to relate to and connect deeply with most cruisers we met post-Covid. Is the shift in the cruising community, or is the shift in us? Yes, to both.
Moving off the boat doesn’t mean we will stop traveling or exploring. In 2024, we traveled more than 25,000 miles; less than half of that was under sail. There are other ways to see the world aside from the deck of a boat, and there are other ways to get time on the water without having your own boat.
What now?
We plan to spend more time collecting fresh eggs, taking long walks in the woods, and watching the bird feeder. Seriously, why didn’t any of my landlubber friends tell me about the addictive thrill of watching a bird feeder in middle age?
When we finally made the decision to stop full-time boat life, we were shocked at the language used in response. We heard it all when we shared with others: swallowing the anchor, quitting, giving up, can’t hack it, no more adventures, the end of travel, and even, “So you finally decided to grow up?” Ouch.
I found it shocking and, frankly, really odd. Our self-worth is not tied up in being a cruiser. It’s a tribe we love, a huge piece of our hearts and souls, but our identity is not wrapped up in our lifestyle. It’s not important to us to be known as “the cruisers,” “the boat schoolers,” or “the liveaboards.” The only thing we want to be known as is, hopefully, “good people.”
A dear friend and incredibly skilled sailor named George Huffman passed away last year. He said it best when he told me about his “Three Pillars.” No matter where or how you spend your days, ask yourself: “Have I acted passionately about something? Have I had some fun? Have I helped someone?”
As we start a new chapter off our boat, we will continue to make new friends, nourish community, help others, learn all we can, travel near and far, and have adventures. Onward!
About the Author: After 26 years living aboard and 17 of them writing for SpinSheet, Cindy Wallach and her family have moved off their catamaran and to North Carolina. Find their Francis 44 Catamaran Majestic for sale at tinyurl.com/Majestic44.
